'Happening to things'

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

- Leonardo da Vinci

If you wait for things to happen to you, you’ll be waiting forever.

Business, work, relationships- you can’t sit back and wait for the invite, the promotion, that guy to ask you out, etc. Life is short friends, what are you waiting for?

If you want something to happen, get some courage and go take it for yourself. So many people sit around waiting that I’ve noticed the ones who don’t wait tend to get a leg up in life. The fearless, confident, individuals who are OK with stepping out of their comfort zone, taking risks, asking the hard questions and don’t stress about looking “stupid” are more successful, have better relationships and overall feel happier.

Key takeaway- these people ALWAYS ask the hard questions. If the answer is not what they need on their journey to personal fulfillment, they know they will have the courage to start all over again.

If you don’t believe in you and what you offer the world, why should anyone else? Take ownership of your path and be confident in YOU. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

PSA: Ladies, Let's Talk About Safety While Traveling Alone.

PSA: Ladies, it’s time we talk about safety while traveling alone for business or pleasure.

To kick it off, I’d like to start the conversation to bring awareness to the precautions you should take before booking your next work trip. Unfortunately for me, I learned the hard way.

During my first few years in NYC I was tasked to meet with a company up in Boston for an afternoon meeting. I took a look at some flights and because I didn’t have a corporate card and wouldn’t be reimbursed for awhile, decided to take the cheapest flight option as I was completely broke at the time. A flight that got me there in time for my meeting and the last flight out of Boston back to NYC. 

After landing at LaGuardia, I sleepily got in the cab line, still in full work attire with only my purse and computer on my arm. I noticed my phone was on low battery (13%), but instead of stopping to charge it, I decided it was a quick cab ride back to the Upper East Side and I’d be fine.

Once in the cab I gave the driver my cross streets and called my mom as I always did for safety reasons and to download her on my trip. Since it was late and I was on the phone, I wasn’t using my map and wasn’t paying attention to the drive until the driver suddenly darted off of the highway. It was then I realized something was wrong as I had made this commute hundreds of times before and no one had ever gotten off the highway in this location.

I told my mom to hang on as I spoke up to the driver addressing his decision to get off the highway. The next 10 minutes were the scariest moments of my life and somewhat of a blur, but happened something like this...

“Sir, why did you get off the highway, we should take the midtown tunnel can you get back on?”.

No response.

Louder this time, “Sir HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME?!!!!”.

No response.

Banging on the glass that separated us in a full panic, “STOP THE CAR I WANT TO GET OUT!!!! HELLO? LET ME OUT!!!!”.

The car takes an aggressive left turn into an alley. I see a dead end and a barbed wire fence. My mom is still on the phone- I hear her yelling my name. I look out the window and make the split decision that may have saved my life. I unlocked the car door and jumped out of a car moving about 50 mph. I didn’t care in the moment, I just new jumping out of that car as better than whatever was waiting for me at the end of that alley . I’m not sure how I didn’t injure myself more, but I somehow landed on my hands and knees, cell phone by my side, mom still on the line.

I picked up my phone and ran back out of the alley to the main road. Mind you it had to be past midnight at this point and I had no clue where I was, but from my surroundings it seemed to be an industrial park. I would find out later I was in Long Island City, not terribly far from my apartment, but indeed off the beaten path. 

Mom still on the line, now with my Dad and younger sister all on as well. They had heard the entire occurrence unfold- a family’s nightmare. As I ran to the street I told her I was running to try and get help. It was then my phone died...

No shoes, purse left in the cab, ripped tights, bleeding from who knows where and covered in dirt from the unpaved alley, I stood on the corner with a dead phone and no cars in sight. Suddenly an SUV stopped on the corner and waited there, almost analyzing the situation and waiting for help to arrive. The man never introduced himself but I think he must have called the cops. Thank you to whoever that unnamed soul is, I’m forever grateful. 

To my surprise and from something out of a horror film, the cab driver started to slowly back out of the alley, passenger door still wide open and lights on from where I had escaped. The driver had the audacity to approach me, and in a raised voice demand that I get back in the vehicle. I backed away and screamed at the top of my lungs that the cops were on their way and there was no way in hell I was getting back in the car (although my phone was dead so I had no idea if that was actually true). It was somewhere during that moment the cops made their heroic arrival and I knew the nightmare was over.

Moral of the story, I learned a few key lessons that day:

1. Do not travel solo late at night. My dad has always stressed nothing and no one good happens after midnight and I’ve found that to be true in this crazy world. 

2. Never take shortcuts to save a few bucks. I have been an advocate for safe traveling hours for women at work and have made it clear to all companies moving forward I will not travel late at night due to safety reasons. Ladies, they must respect that or you MUST go to HR.

3. Always have a charged phone! You must have an outlet to share where you are with someone. I also find turning your location on while traveling is a smart way to stay safe. I also now make the extra effort to stop and charge a dead phone when exiting a flight because it is not worth comprising my safety ever again.

4. Stand up for yourself. If you feel like your driver is not listening to you, get their attention and call out their mistake. If they are not cooperating start strategizing an exit plan immediately. Praying your exit plan is safer than mine, but you never know the scenario you may find yourself.

Please take this story with you as you plan trips moving forward. It is always ok to advocate for your personal safety, please never feel inadequate to your male peers for doing so. To share your safety tips, please leave me a note in the contact me form- I’d be honored to share your story.

xx,

T

How To Experience Success As a Young Professional: #1 YOUR NETWORK

At the peak of any great accomplishment, you tend to think back to when that accomplishment was a mere thought, a distant reality, or a dream…

For most, it starts with having a dream, turning that dream into a vision, turning that vision into a possibility, into an opportunity and finally into a reality. 

Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Reagan, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs…When you think back to the most influential figures in history, you will notice they all shared a common trait. They all had the ability to dream. They all had the ability to look outside of the box and feverishly test the status quo. They refused to take no for an answer and they made a decision to push the human race forward. Whether these great heroes stood for equality or creating a world of fantasy and imagination, they changed our world.

But as they say, “It takes years of hard work to be an overnight success.” It takes a true catalyst of personal qualities, adaptability and actions in order to drive success in life.

 I’d like to begin with what I have come to believe is one of the most important steps: The power of your network, how to build it, utilize it and flourish from it.

1. Networking For Personal Gain (Job, Friends, Opportunity, Mentor, etc.)

As I began to search for a job in the working world, I realized that the MOST important piece of success not only business, but in life, was the power of your network.

I began to notice that the most influential, powerful and motivating people I knew had surrounded themselves with people they respect, drivers of human race and people that truly reflected who they were, or wanted to become.  

Once I shifted my mind to truly believing in this ideal, my world also began to shift. I started looking at the world around me as a level playing ground where I could be whoever I wanted to be and meet whoever I wanted to meet, as long as I was persistent and professional enough to get in front of those people.  

I began to research and reach out to folks at a high level from all different industries around the country and set meetings with those people in order to discover my path.

It was through that process that I met a complete stranger and his family in a crowded airport terminal… a complete stranger who after a 10 minute conversation handed me his card and sparked the beginning of a life changing journey.

As it turned out- the man next to me was the Owner & CEO of one of the largest privately held and fastest growing companies in NYC.

When I was settled at my final destination, embarking on my last semester of college, I thought about what to do with that card. He had mentioned he would be returning to NYC the following week, so the following week I picked up the phone.

For my story, like many others who have experienced success of any kind, it does not simply fall on your doorstep. To be truly successful you have to network, go out and search for it and then when you catch a spark- run with it and set a fire.

Countless calls, emails and check-in’s later, my pleasantly persistent attitude lead to a job, which has now turned into a career in the most competitive market in the world: New York City.

2. Networking to Flourish

Being a freshman in the real world is one of the most complex and challenging times of a person’s life. You are not only faced with the task of searching for and landing a job that supports your lifestyle, but also for most it means moving to a new city and building a fresh network.

I can personally attest to the theory that the most monumental moments in life are created from extending a hand, making a cold call and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone every single day.  

The goal in this game of life is to truly find comfort in the uncomfortable and to gain an understanding that the most beautiful moments can flourish from a simple hello.

After quickly settling into the fast paced life of NYC, sink or swim mode set in. I realized that I had to build a network and fast if I wanted to make it in the most competitive market in the world.

I began working as an Enterprise Sales Associate in the Onsite Outsourcing industry. If you know anything about B2B sales, you know it’s all about setting meetings and getting in front of people. If you know anything about Enterprise Sales, it’s all about landing meetings with C level executives from the largest organizations in the world.

From the day I began my role, I knew I had to build a network of mentors, strategic partners, lead generators, etc. if I wanted to not only stay afloat in NYC, but flourish.

I began to use Linkedin and cold call folks from the best companies and with the most prestigious titles. My tactic was not only to bring awareness to my business, but was most importantly to build relationships that would act as a foundation to my new life, role and set a stage to nurture my future goals. The more people you have on your team, just like in any aspect of life, the more successful you will be.

Little by little I began to meet top executives at firms across the city and the world. Instead of asking for business, all I asked for was a relationship and advice on how to succeed. From there, I gained a great deal of mentors who in turn exposed me to their circles resulting in some of the greatest contributors to my short lived success.

This is something I like to call the ripple effect. The key in the first few years of your business experience is to get out and meet people. Share what you do, but don’t always ask for business on the first date. The goal at this age is to meet the most influential people in your respective cities to position yourself for the future.

Whether you luck out and make an immediate profit or walk away with a connection that will benefit your short term goals or not, you are still making lasting connections that may contribute to millions of dollars in your pocket 10 years down the road. 

3. You Get What You Give

What you must not forget is that the most important key to networking and building a network is to put those in it above yourself and your needs. I have never gone to a meeting, networking event, etc. and met someone I did not offer to help first- even at a young age. ALWAYS remember you get what you give. The more you give now, the more you will profit later; be patient.

Overall the power of networking and how I have utilized it has been the BEST decision to date not only in business, but in life.

If I would have never said hello to a stranger in the airport and followed up diligently with that stranger, I would have never landed my first job out of college which eventually lead to what I’d like to believe will be a lifelong career.

If I had never reached out, thirsty to learn from everything and everyone and worked tirelessly to gain a solid NYC network… that job would have never turned into a career.

Reach out to the people you want to be, study them, learn from them and eventually you become one of them.

As I mentioned before, “it takes years of hard work to become an overnight success’- why not start today?

How to Experience Success As a Young Professional #2: The Three C's Of Mental Toughness

“Competitive toughness is an acquired skill and not an inherited gift”- Chris Evert

 _________________________________________________

“Tap… tap… tap”, my pen rhythmically hitting the desk as I waited for my name to be called.

 A wave of nerves and excitement stood before me propelled by a single thought; am I going to succeed?

 As I stared into space, I found myself preparing in that moment as I did for all of the big events in my life up until that point.

I utilized what I had learned over the years in both mental toughness and how to conquer pressure by shifting my attitude; I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 “Taylor…they’re ready for you now.”

 As I felt my chest tighten and a wave of nerves rush through my veins, I smiled. At 23-years-old I had learned to relate that familiar nervous feeling with excitement, the beginning something beautiful and a challenge to be had.

 “Bring it on”, I whispered to myself, as I glided into the room.

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 The C’s of Mental Toughness & How I Utilize Them: Part 1

 Discovering a way to prepare yourself and mastering the ability to find comfort in the uncomfortable is truly the base line for success. Most importantly, it is how you prepare yourself mentally for that “room” that will determine the outcome of any interaction or challenge.

“Under pressure you can perform 15% better or 15% worse” (Scott Hamilton).

 Fortunately, I was lucky enough to start my learning curve on mental toughness & how to handle life’s pressures at a young age. As the daughter of a 15 year NHL Veteran- the mental game was coaching I had from day 1.

 Before I was handed my first copy of Gary Mack’s masterpiece, ‘Mind Gym’, I had developed my own version of Mack’s “7 C’s of Mental Toughness” through my coach; Dad.

 In this article I want to reference Mack’s 7 C’s as the outline to my success thus far as a young professional. It has been these 7 components of the mental game that have prepared me for any challenge, short, or long term goal.

 Whatever your version of the “room” is, I encourage you to find your own version of the “C’s” to add a competitive edge to your tool book.

 Let’s start with the first 3.

1. Confidence:

Confidence is key. Mental toughness, the power of positivity and the ability to get yourself to a confident place through positive self-talk is often a make or break skill.

The moment I described above was walking into my first sales meeting after being promoted to the “A-Team”, if you will. My 10 new colleagues staring at me with skeptical yet curious eyes, twice my age and with triple the experience.

As a kid out of college with no sales experience I had to pull my confidence from similar moments where I was new, younger, inexperienced, etc.… and succeeded anyway.

I chose to pull from the drive, commitment and focus it took to become a Division 1 college athlete and countless hours spent alone, behind the scenes training to build not only my physical, but mental game.

 “The vision of a champion is bent over, drenched with sweat, at the point of exhaustion, when no one else is watching”- Mia Hamm.

 I repeatedly told myself “You got this, T. If you put in the time, pain and drive every single day on and off the field for years to play at the highest level than you can put in the same work & commitment to rise to the level that stands before you- NO MATTER WHAT THE TASK”.

 My advice is to pull from experiences and areas in which you feel confident and have experienced success. Through this, you can relate the success of that moment to the task at hand and visualize achievement.

 Practice running yourself through the confidence drill; where or what experience are you pulling these feelings of success and belonging from?

 Trust in yourself. Just because you don’t have 20 years of the SAME experience of the people around you, doesn’t mean you don’t have different and unique tools to succeed at the same job.  Pave your own way and uncover your own secret sauce.

 2. Commit

Commit to your product, your company and the knowledge that you need to learn to be the best at your role.

Product knowledge will save you and give you the ability to compete in any room. Knowledge is power and studying to learn a new job is the same as studying for a big exam or researching what strategy will work against your toughest opponent on the field or the court.

Thinking back to my first week on the Sales Team- lost, confused and over my head- I just kept thinking, “I can’t wait to get as good at this job and as comfortable selling this product as I was playing soccer at the highest level.”

Looking back, the best part about that statement was that mentally, I had already convinced myself it was an attainable goal. I pulled my prior experience around dedication and commitment and applied it to my new role in sales.

To me, the key to success through commitment was practicing every single day.  It was the ability to block out the background noise, put your head down and lay the bricks day by day until you look up and a beautiful building is standing before you.

In my new role I committed to learning, shadowing and training with the goal and vision I would be able to compete with the best sales people on my team. I studied our business, the market and our competitive differentiators every single day before and after work. I role played in front of my roommate and my colleagues daily, shadowed, asked too many questions and wasn’t afraid to look ‘stupid’.

Fear of failure is the most dangerous thing while trying to achieve any goal.  

Allow yourself to commit to future success and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t attain it or make you feel that you’re inadequate. Hard work and commitment always surpass natural skill and experience when natural skill and experience aren’t working hard.

What are you waiting for?

1. Composure & Resilience

When swimming with the sharks – practice patience and resilience. ALWAYS.

From day one in the workforce, I was surrounded with some of the toughest New York City sharks in the business. Brilliant, ruthless, out to win and ready to pray on the weak… welcome to New York ;)

I remember one day in particular that will always be a great reminder of true composure- I now pull from this moment when faced with adversity in the present.

It had been a long day in the office being ridiculed by peers while doing my best to role play a foreign product, cut down for the way I cold called and who I cold called, put in my place for asking too many questions and spinning from all of the new tasks at hand.

The clock stuck 7pm and I burst out into the cold night air with tears in my eyes. The first phone call went to my coach; Dad.

After sharing my day, feeling defeated, I will never forget his response and the lesson I learned that day.

“T, I know you want to fight back and you very well could, BUT my advice is…don’t. Not verbally anyway. You need these people, you need them to learn, grow and succeed. You don’t have the tools or knowledge yet to do this on your own. Take everything you can from them and win in the right way- succeed at the mutual task.”

My strong personality and “confidence” that I had so easily used to stand up for myself in life, no longer applied in certain moments at work.

I had to learn to hold back in moments that I wanted to fight back and scold my peers for their harsh words and negative attitudes. As a young professional, you need your peers and “Baby Boomer’s” to learn the business, even if they try and undercut you. You must absolutely always stay strong and hold your own, but work on catering your response with respect, even if it isn’t a two way street.

Experience doesn’t buy you good character and just because you’re young it doesn’t mean you can’t teach everyone in the room a thing or two about what it means to have it.

The outcome of that day and about 365 more just like it needed all three of the C’s.

In the form of Composure and Resilience:

The next day, I came back smiling and brought the entire team cupcakes. I wrote a personalized note to each of the sales reps describing how grateful I was for their guidance, mentorship and how much it meant to me to be learning from such successful sales professionals. (Thanks, Dad)

In the form of Confidence and Commitment:

A few weeks later I walked into our morning meetings knowing I would get my turn to role play. Eyes rolling and snickers around the table, the spotlight was on me once again. This time, with confidence, ease and a fight back attitude I rolled through the information perfectly, looking directly into the eyes of all the faces who doubted me. I was even able to add a bit of my upbeat personality to the pitch, ending it by flashing a “this is why you hired me” smile to my boss. I didn’t even have to look around the room after to feel the feedback. (Thanks, Mental Toughness)

Moral of the story? No one ever doubted my ability to step up to the plate and hit a home run ever again and I was respected by my peers no matter my age or level of experience.

You’re going to fail, you’re going to get nervous, you’re going to run into sharks and you’re not always going to have a great day. The best thing is to learn from these moments, learn from these people and see growth in the failures and the positives through experiencing your absolute worst moments.  

The room is waiting for you… time to give yourself a smile and walk on in.